There have been times in my life where I've experienced a lot of pain-Psychic, Physical, Emotional ect. I've had to come up with many different strategies for coping & while some have created more pain, others didn't work at all. My favorite tho, time & battle tested, is Distraction!
I'm in the middle of one of those times right now. It was not an unexpected event yet it still hit me hard. The shock set in first then the rest of the 5 stages begun their inevitable journey through the labyrinth that we call grief.
The process of grief is not unique yet it remains a very personal, & for some, a very private experience.
I believe I've reached a kind of personal critical-mass when it comes to grief & loss.
What this looks like is usually after a certain amount of gut-wrenching moments my Distraction-Coping kicks in. This is the point in the grief where I no longer know how to feel so instead I distract.
It's effective coping & I would encourage anyone who is currently in a grief-experience to not only engage in distraction technique but to actually Plan for it. In other words incorporate distraction into your life at that critical moment(s) when you, yourself no longer know how to feel about your particular situation.
Distraction gets a bad rap because most of us associate it with too much of something like TV, Internet, Games, Facebook, eating, drinking, having sex ect, ect.
Distraction in moderation is my motto...
We do not have to suffer endlessly when we are going through the heavy stuff, at least no more than is truly necessary to get us thru to the other side.
We've all heard this one:
"Pain is necessary, Suffering is optional"
Bullshit! Pain & Suffering are part of the package of Grief. Period. Sometimes we suffer so that we can know the pain of others or because we believe we must suffer.
Whatever the reason(s) they are valid & when our friends & family begin to say, "ok, that's enough" then ok, maybe it's time to stop but until then indulge your pain & your suffering & your distraction too. It will all be over eventually & then it will be just a memory.
Rest in Peace Rodney. xoxo
Michelle
I'm in the middle of one of those times right now. It was not an unexpected event yet it still hit me hard. The shock set in first then the rest of the 5 stages begun their inevitable journey through the labyrinth that we call grief.
The process of grief is not unique yet it remains a very personal, & for some, a very private experience.
I believe I've reached a kind of personal critical-mass when it comes to grief & loss.
What this looks like is usually after a certain amount of gut-wrenching moments my Distraction-Coping kicks in. This is the point in the grief where I no longer know how to feel so instead I distract.
It's effective coping & I would encourage anyone who is currently in a grief-experience to not only engage in distraction technique but to actually Plan for it. In other words incorporate distraction into your life at that critical moment(s) when you, yourself no longer know how to feel about your particular situation.
Distraction gets a bad rap because most of us associate it with too much of something like TV, Internet, Games, Facebook, eating, drinking, having sex ect, ect.
Distraction in moderation is my motto...
We do not have to suffer endlessly when we are going through the heavy stuff, at least no more than is truly necessary to get us thru to the other side.
We've all heard this one:
"Pain is necessary, Suffering is optional"
Bullshit! Pain & Suffering are part of the package of Grief. Period. Sometimes we suffer so that we can know the pain of others or because we believe we must suffer.
Whatever the reason(s) they are valid & when our friends & family begin to say, "ok, that's enough" then ok, maybe it's time to stop but until then indulge your pain & your suffering & your distraction too. It will all be over eventually & then it will be just a memory.
Rest in Peace Rodney. xoxo
Michelle
Jim Rohn said that everything is good in moderation.I guess it applies to distraction, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back Michelle.
Jim Rohn had it right...thanks;)
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